We're on the road to nowhere

Do I live in an area with an unusually high population of uncos? All I wanted to do was walk briskly around town in my lunch half-hour, popping to the Post Office and the bank, and get back to the office in reasonable time. So why were so many people totally incapable of walking at a reasonable pace in a straight line? They were weaving about from one side of the pavement to the other with nary a warning of their intentions. Just when I was trying to overtake they'd cut across my bows, forcing me to take avoiding action by stepping into the road, narrowly avoiding being squished. Even the ones who can proceed at a pace marginally faster than a crippled snail would suddenly stop for no reason. Especially if they're three abreast and taking up the full width of the pavement.

Perhaps there should be some sort of pedestrianism test, along the same lines as the driving test, with L plates being compulsory until they have shown an acceptable degree of competence. If that's too extreme, let them be fitted with indicators and brake lights that work off their brain waves.If, as I suspect, some of them don't actually have any discernible brain activity, why can't they simply keep to the left?

Just don't get me started on the ones armed with those hazards to life, limb and eyesight; to whit, the umbrella.