Sports prepare, the laurel bring

What's wrong with 21st century children? There are several horse chestnut trees in the village and, even after school's finished and all the children have walked under them to go home, there are conkers still lying uncollected. The world is turning upside down. (Non-British readers will find this enlightening.)

*The title must be one of the worst puns I've come up with to date. I feel very proud*