I really wanna know

Last time I was looking for a puppy it took ages. I spent about a year getting my name on waiting lists and visiting litters, but although all the puppies were sweet there wasn't one that said "Hello, I'm yours" to us. Then we heard of a litter where there were six dog puppies and one bitch; it was essential that the chosen pup was a bitch, so I didn't hold out great hopes for this one. Still, nothing ventured and all that, so we went to see them. I scanned these seven puppies on the floor, and my eye was caught by one in particular. I bent down to pick it up - and it was the bitch. So we had her - and Clover was a very much loved member of our family.

Well, I'm not really sure how it happened - one casual email has had a rather surprising result. I expected to go through months and months of fruitless enquiries but I seem to have paid a deposit (refundable if the BAER result is unsatisfactory) on a four week old baby:





we walked into the room they were in, and all the puppies were asleep except for one, who was sitting near the door looking up at us; and this was the only available bitch, the one the breeder had suggested we might be interested in. I bent down to stroke her face and she seized my finger and started sucking on it.

All being well she comes to us at the end of May. But she needs a name ...

I know I'm not super hip and I'm liable to take a slip

There I was, happily putting in extra-curricular hours designing advertising material even when the sun was shining and there were a squillion things I could be doing outside, absorbing UV rays and converting them to strong, healthy bones so that I don't crumble to dust in the next puff of wind, when I realised that I was actually concerning myself about whether 'the market' gave a tinker's cuss about the shape of the background.

You see, I realised the Evil that is Political Correctness has insinuated itself into my mind, and I was actually troubled about whether using a 6-pointed star background to advertise pet food might offend Jews or whether a 5-pointed star might might indicate witchery.

I must bleach my this contamination from my brain. It is utterly intolerable, not to say appallingly patronising, to start wondering whether random pretty shapes might prove offensive to anyone. That suggests that they don't have the intelligence to see that a shape is just that, and contains no subtle meaning behind it. If anyone's offended by a shape, get over yourself.

I never thought I'd sink so low.

Thankful for her Fine Fare discount, Tess co-operates

I'm sure we all remember playing The Tesco Game until that particular promotion came to an end. But all is not lost - there's a new, updated version! Hooray!

I think it was originated by Asda, but now Tesco have stepped up to the mark with their version. It does rely on you having access to a computer, but all you have to do is enter the row of numbers at the very bottom of your till receipt, give them your email address, and wait a day or so for the reply. Their system checks the price you paid against Asda's price for the same items, and if Asda were cheaper you get double the difference.

The first two receipts I tried were failures; my shopping bill was 75p and 23p cheaper than they would have been. Third time lucky, however; I was told I'd paid £2.52 more than necessary, so I now have a lovely voucher for £5.04, carefully stapled to the original receipt to make it valid.

I'm very tempted to copy this chap who's taken this new Tesco game to a professional level. Henry would have been in his element, making a profit out of other people's litter.

Although I hoped we weren't very far away from the end

A third weekend's work has seen the second and last of the variable vegetable beds (as opposed to the permanently-planted ones, with currants and raspberries) reconstructed, turf dug and relaid and even a few potatoes planted!




And done without needing to move the leeks and garlic.

The paths still need to be properly laid - there's another weekend's work there - and it'll look fab.