Get down, deeper and down

Your Birthdate: July 5

With a birthday on the 5th of the month you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

There! That's successfully moved yesterday's blog down to make it legible. :)

What a big surprise

I went into Leamington today to have lunch with the other women I used to work with (and to give them back my key to the building - I'll have to smash a window if I want to break in now!). We had a nice lunch and chat - Boss's flat was flooded last week after the heavy rain, which has particularly pissed him off as it's only 6 months since they finished refurbishing after the last time it did this. One woman's son is refusing to go to school because he's sick of the juvenile behaviour of some of his classmates - luckily he's going to a new school in September. I could tell them about the free advertising Radio 2 is giving to the game written by the Boys Upstairs, because a copy of it (Mashed, fully loaded) and a PS2 to play it on was one of the prizes in Steve Wright's Big Quiz, so it gets mentioned every day; and that Puzzle's rival gave away 30 copies of a CD Rom we designed as prizes on their website.

Then when it was time to go they gave me a big bunch of flowers and a card signed by everyone and some Hawkshead vouchers. Which was a nice surprise.

Our house?

From the (rented) cottage garden 

We saw this house name when we were in Cornwall - Ned felt almost at home!


Nearly home? 

By the way, does anyone know why Blogger has suddenly rearranged itself and is having the socking great gap at the top? I haven't altered the template at all.
Hurrah! Enmendificated! Or nearly, anyway. The text now runs beneath the sidebar instead of cunningly shortening itself to fit ... hmmm ... back to Blogger help ...

Wherever I wander

Honey, we’re home! And we had a pretty fabbo time, all in all. Cornwall’s always lovely (though I think I prefer the north coast to the south), and we had the most brilliant weather – maybe a tad too hot for the long walks we were doing! The seven miles from Cape Cornwall, through Lands End to the village where we’d parked the second car was long, hot and tiring. But we nabbed several caches on the way, so that was good. We saw dolphins and seals, and had cream teas, and beer. Sharps’ Doom Bar and Special were great – the Godolphin in Marazion (they don’t like it if you call their village Marzipan by mistake) keeps their beer very well. The Logan Rock Inn does good Tinners, and the Old Success in Sennen is a lifesaver.

Unfortunately Cornwall also goes in for danger – I made the mistake of picking up a damp towel, and my back went ‘poing!’ so I spent most of the week taking ibuprofen washed down with beer. It worked, and I managed several cliff scrambles.

We had a minor panic when we couldn’t contact the Boy for 15 hours, even when he was meant to be at home, and it was only by phoning one of our neighbours who went and reminded him that ringing phones usually need answering that we were weren’t belting back home on Wednesday morning. We were packed …

On the way back a piratical raid was launched on the Cad Hutters, who in a fiendishly devious move shattered Ned’s shiny cutlass, much to the amusement of all the other people in the pub who were “Yarring” in the proper manner as we sneaked through the bar, bandanas, eye-patches and weaponry drawn to avoid ambush.

We got home to discover that the joint account has been overdrawn since Tuesday and they’re charging us £8 a day for the privilege (they have a shock coming tomorrow); the woman driving ‘the other car’ involved in the Boy’s prang is being a Cow and saying she’s injured, he hit her head on (yeah right, we have photos of the damage) etc, and her insurance company is writing threatening letters to Boy, which I’m sure is, if not actually illegal, is certainly unethical; and the Boy has dreadlocks.


Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! 

And now Blogger's being an arse, and getting stuff all in the wrong places.

Pee, po, belly, bum, drawers

There. I did lots or swears, because I’m feeling glum.

When they say that Bad Things happen in threes, does it mean three bad things for each person, or can a family combine their allocation? You see, I’m hoping that I’ve managed to save The Boy from his third. If I haven’t, he’s still due another and I’m only on my first. Not good.

You all know I love my job. It’s my perfect job. Well, it was. The nature of the work has changed in the past year, and now my fourth temporary contract won’t be renewed. What hurts the most is that they seem to be saying I needn’t bother to come back after my holiday, even though they’ll be paying me my notice. What, am I that useless at what I do, that they're happy to pay me to stay away? I didn’t think so – in fact, today I’ve spent my time fixing other people’s mishaps. Well, bugger them, I’m going back for at least one day after the holiday.

Or not. Depending how spiteful I feel.

Sits vac, here I come.

Why are you growing up so fast, my son?

I hope bad things don’t happen in threes. The other day the Boy announced that he and his girlfriend of 18 months had split up, which upset us all, as we liked her. It looks as though it might be permanent – her toothbrush has gone from the bathroom. Then last night he had a minor (he was going at about 5 mph) prang with his car – the nearside front wing, the headlight and the bumper are all damaged.


Oops :( 

Luckily nobody was hurt, but he’s quite shocked. He told me his life’s going “from shit to worse”. I hate to see my baby so unhappy. Ned and I are going on holiday at the weekend – I don’t want to leave the Boy to deal with all this by himself.

That's what gets results

Isn’t it interesting the way things are done differently around the world? The other day I learned from a Swedish lady that, in Sweden, most dog owners – even ‘ordinary’ pet owners - are members of their Kennel Club, and the rules of dog breeding are very much stricter than ours. Over there, deliberate* crossbreeding is anathema, and anyone who does so is immediately ejected from the Kennel Club. And without membership they can’t enter shows, can’t register puppies – they’re out on their ear! This has the result that the vast majority of dogs in Sweden (and indeed most of Scandinavia) are purebred, and until recently, coinciding with the craze for ‘designer’ crosses, the number of dogs in rescue is very small. The only rescue kennel in Stockholm rehomes about 100 dogs a year – compare that to Battersea Dogs Home, which is only one of many rescue kennels in London, and which rehomes about 6000 dogs each year. Also, I’m told, people cannot visit to pick a dog according to looks etc, they have to be assessed FIRST, fill in forms detailing what type of dog they want; size, coat etc, and the home then match them with a suitable dog - and they have waiting lists at all times. And this is in a country where up until 1989 it was illegal to neuter dogs and bitches.

The rescue system in Finland is also reported to be virtually non-existent – because there’s no great need for one. People take responsibility for their own animals and don’t abandon them or allow them to reproduce willy-nilly. Again, most Finnish dog owners are also Kennel Club members. Unfortunately the UK Kennel Club is run on different lines, with limited membership. In fact it’s only in the last 30 years or so that female membership was permitted (I believe Florence Nagle was the first woman elected to membership of those hallowed portals). There’s a lot to be said for having strict rules about dog ownership – it seems to encourage a much more responsible attitude towards ownership and breeding. What a shame we don’t seem able to do the same here. Easy come, easy go?

*note the word ‘deliberate’. They accept that accidents unfortunately happen.

Yes, we have no banananas

I bought some cherries today, because I like fruit. It says on the bag "Wash before eating". I had a bath last night - will that do?

See how the good times roll

Wow! Fabbo time! We may have had a tad of alcomoholicsismness, perhaps. True fcat.


The Ego Warrior in person 

The Rutles were great. I danced a lot. For some reason many of the rest of the audience were zombies. Or dead. They stood motionless throughout, which surely isn't possible if you have an ounce of music in your soul. And if you haven't, why are you at a gig? Ned roundly applauded the band whilst still holding his drink which was promptly worn by the bloke (and his lady) in front. Luckily the bloke didn't seem to mind. Too much. I'm not sure about her though.

Random thought - if you're a bloke, and you want to have your hair very short, make sure you have neat ears. A velvety-plush skull which resembles a wingnut is not a Good Look.

Then someone groped my bum. He was either blind drunk or just blind. We identified who it was, though (by the way he changed position when I swapped places with Lorry), and enormous amusement was had by us three as I danced some more and got ogled. Gosh, it's a long time since anyone tried to pull me! Lorry and I had our slapping hands ready, and Ned had his 'decking fist' primed.

Walking back to the car we passed the remnants of a wedding reception, as the bride and groom bade their farewells to honoured guests. By judicious use of less-than-subtle wrestling holds we managed to hustle Lorry around the corner before she shrieked "Don't do it, you fool! They're all bastards!"

On the drive home the tosser behind us had too many lights on, so Lorry mooned him, which we think he appreciated, as he flashed us when he turned off. No, Mallers, I didn't get a picture for the gallery. Sorry.

Ego-warriors thumb their noses.

On the dock of the Bay

Final Ebay update:
A further pot of tabs arrived today to compensate for the broken ones in the other pots. How does Positive feedback saying 'Minor problems sorted quickly and efficiently' sound?

Most efficacious in every case?

Ebay update:
I told you I'd contacted the glucosamine seller, whose advert on Ebay had stated "Upon receipt of payment we will dispatch without delay." That seems to translate as "We will dispatch goods 6 days after receipt of payment if you chase us". Anyway, the package arrived today, and eagerly I opened the first tub of 60 tablets, anxious to start removing the pain in my knees and hands. It contained 43 unbroken tablets and a lot of powder ... Perhaps it'll work if I sprinkle it on my cereal, or stir it into coffee. I've emailed the company to tell them about this - I'll wait till they've responded before considering the feedback.

As for the memory card - hurrah for Omally and his lovely help! He enabled me to go to bed a happy girl. It turns out I wasn't as stupid as I suspected, so nobody needs to point at me and laugh. Not because of that, anyway.

Fools rush in

Last Friday I bought some glucosamine on Ebay. Yesterday I emailed the supplier to ask when the package had been dispatched as nothing had been delivered. This morning I received an email to tell me that it was dispatched this morning. Hmmm. I may need help wording the feedback.

On Monday I threw caution to the wind and bought a new memory card for my camera because we’re going away soon and I’ll need a week’s worth of space. That arrived today (positive feedback there) but I’m sure what I’ve bought is wrong and won’t work, so I’ve probably wasted my money. It seems that memory cards are different to rolls of film, and need to be the right make, not just the right shape and size. Bum.

How bizarre, how bizarre

It seems someone saw fit to give the Leamington loonies a half-holiday today. It was a lovely sunny day, and I left work with a good feeling that I’d got a lot done. I crossed over the junction and walked on the wide (about 10-foot) pavement towards Adelaide Bridge. As usual I walked by the railings on the left, away from the kerb, which leaves plenty of room for pedestrian traffic to pass – which was why I was a mite surprised when a straggly-haired chap carrying a plastic petrol can deliberately moved across the pavement towards me. Not wanting to collide with him I moved to the right to pass him, and to say I was surprised when he put out his hand and deliberately shoved my shoulder hard, sending me stumbling across the pavement, would be an understatement.

He stalked on along the road and, as a bus was turning down the narrow junction by my office, walked into its path and thumped the (fortunately empty) petrol can on the windscreen. Luckily the driver was taking the corner slowly and avoided hitting the weirdo, who walked around the side of the bus, thumped the can onto the side windows before carrying on as if his behaviour was perfectly normal.

Maybe that actually is normal in LoonyLand.

d'you wanna be in my gang?

my gang 

wot i did on my holidays by millie

friday: it was hot and mum and my sister took me in the car and we went to my spotty mum and my brothers and sister and their mum who’s my old mum too and it gets very confusing about who’s who. then they went and i stayed and very soon it was all lovely and we all settled down and went to sleep.

saturday: it was a lovely day and my other person mum took me for a walk and we met with monty who is a terrier and wilf who is a labrador and we talked and then we went on and we met up with my old dad and clover and beattie and harry and piglet and then we came back and i was let off my stretchy lead cos i was being so good. i was tired when we got back and i had a drink and went to sleep.

sunday: we had brekkie and we walked round the big field and in the afternoon i went in the car and i et my lead and luckily my old mum had got another and so we had a nice walk and i et some sheep poo when they weren’t looking and i played with a smelly wet labrador who said woof so i pretended he wasn’t there and then i played with a collie puppy and then we came back. i got told off when i got grumpy and swore at harry cos he wanted his tugger and i had it and i didn’t want to share.

monday: i went on a different walk with my old mum and i went everywhere she wanted when she said “this way” so i had a nice run. then i stayed in like a good girl when they went out then they came back and took us all out again and i ran about and came when i was called cos there were bits of sausage in my old mum’s pocket.

tuesday: i’ve got another lead which is almost like the old one wot i et! hahaha. i had a nice walk in the sunshine and the day was quiet and everyone slept.

wednesday: : we all went in the grassy field together and it was very exciting and i ran round and round in a circle as fast as i could cos it was such fun. i think i like being with all the others. i can run faster than clover but not as fast as beattie or harry. i don’t think anyone can run as fast as piglet. i might have run too fast cos my foot’s okay but my leg’s a bit stiff so i’ll have a rest. it’s raining. bother.

thursday: we went in the fields again where it’s grassy and i chased a bunny and it was too quick and got away. boo spoilsport. i like my brother harry and i follow him everywhere when we’re out.

friday: old mum took me to the fields early cos she was going to work and old dad was supposed to only take the others when he got home but i wasn’t having that so i went again with them hahaha. then before supper i bounced a lot and played with my brothers. it was fun.

saturday: we played in the fields and had pictures taken and we were all good. they say i go home tomorrow which is good but i hope i can come to this kennel again.


i like this kennel 

A lack of originality

Yes, it's taken from the net. Yes, it's sick-makingly twee. Yes, it's shallow. But it's quite interesting:

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and do the DIY. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

Dem bones, dem bones

Hmm. An arthritis flare, eh? Great. Ibuprofen for my hands, and glucosamine (if I’m rich, the doc said!) for my knees, because apparently that’s the only joint it’s been proven to have any effect on.

Still, better than osteoporosis.

I mean this joint is jumpin'

Tomorrow I go to see the doc. For ages and ages (ever since I had my foot operated on) my knees have been giving me gyp, which rather put paid to my plans to run a marathon before I'm 50, but now my hands started playing up too. It started when we were having to test PS2 games at work (yes, that really is work) and I found the control wotsit terribly awkward to use. Twiddling the sticky bits (not sticky as in adhesive, but as in like sticks) with my thumbs was especially painful. Over the weekend I found it well-nigh impossible to even carry a plate, because my thumb joints hurt too much to be able to stop the plate tipping. So I'm going to see if he can tell me whether it's the onset of arthritis or osteoporosis. Neither's out of the question.