I've roomed with fear

You may remember that my mother has, over the past few years, got into the habit of falling over, with increasingly spectacular results, so my brothers and I decided that we really must convince her that the time has come for her to move somewhere a little more convenient for her and all of us. She’s an hour’s drive from the nearest one of us (3 hours from us), in a house that’s really too big for her now and a garden she’s had to pay someone to maintain for about a decade. Despite the fact that she didn’t like the house when my father bought it over 20 years ago, and moved there under protest, she’s now taking some shifting from it. She keeps raising objections like the furniture won’t fit and the attic’s full. Hmmm. I’m sure those aren’t insurmountable problems. Then she decided that if she moved anywhere nearer to one of us we’d instantly up sticks and move away, leaving her stranded. Part of the real trouble is that since her last fall she’s developing agoraphobia. She barely leaves her house at all because she’s afraid of falling – honestly I think she’s been out of doors no more than 5 times since Christmas, not even into the garden, and the prospect of moving away completely terrifies her. Plus, of course, moving house is daunting and stressful even when you’re young and fit. She’s neither of those things.

At one time we put forward the suggestion that we adapt our house and she could live with us but that was vetoed on the grounds that her mother wasn’t happy living with my aunt (even though Mum agreed that Granny had been very happy when she lived with us. So that was vetoed. Then the other week a house across the road from my brother came onto the market, but that seems to have been snapped up, much to Mother’s relief (because it took the decision out of her hands). She keeps saying she’s feeling much stronger now and feels she could stay where she is, but it’d only take another tumbly-bump and we’d all be stymied. She keeps repeating her mantra “James always said we must never be a burden to our children” – but she can’t or won’t see that her distance from us is a burden in itself.

Tomorrow I go to view a dormer bungalow the other side of our village. My brothers and I reckon it’d be ideal if it’s suitable. She’d still have her own place and her own belongings but I could keep an eye on her easily. I bet she’ll find something wrong with it.