Ned was feeling so much better he went to Chesterton windmill to play with his new toy and find his first cache. This was so successful he did it twice, because the first time he found it he didn't recognise it for what it was. I guess he was expecting a bright red 'Thing' with flashing lights, saying "Cooee!" in a beguiling, come-hither tone. Oddly enough, it wasn't.

He is now getting all picky, like people did in the twilight days when digital watches were the latest craze. Instead of responding "Nearly half past nine" when asked the time, the pretentious braggarts would reply "21.26.13 .... 14 .... 15 ...." whereupon they were sneered at and summarily dismissed. Well, Ned used to tell me that his morning dog-walk was a little bit over 3 miles. That is no longer sufficient. His morning dog-walk is officially 3.11 miles.

We have traced his lurgy back to his work, because one colleague (we'll call him Bob) has a wife who is a nurse at Longleat CenterParc, where there have been over 100 people infected with viral gastro-enteritis. It seems quite virulent, because Uuuurrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have been lurgified. Thank you dear, for sharing that with me. You didn't need to take your marriage vows quite as literally.